The Circle Game

And the seasons, they go round and round

And the painted ponies go up and down

We’re captive on the carousel of time

We can’t return, we can only look behind

From where we came

And go round and round and round

In the circle game

Life is a series of yesterdays, a string of memories appreciated in times of quiet reflection. We gaze at the past only to wish that we had held on, reveled in the moment, stayed present instead of propelling ourselves ahead. But we’re programmed otherwise. We’re programmed to feel unsettled when we stay in one place for too long.

Yesterday I graduated from college.

Today I am back home where I started.

Tomorrow I will start my life as an alumna, and then life as a working adult.

I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt.

We’re programmed to feel unsettled when we stay in one place for too long. Four years went by in a blink. I should have held on, reveled in the moment, stayed present instead of propelling myself ahead. Four years and poof, over, just like that. College is now a series of yesterdays, a string of memories I appreciate in times of quiet reflection. But instead of feeling regret and sadness, I'm starting to realizing something exciting. These yesterdays will undoubtedly shape tomorrow. These yesterdays will shape today. All is not lost -- we carry our past with us as we forge ahead.

Life goes round and round and round. It's a circle game.

College is Almost Over: A Letter from My Freshman Self

May 6, 2009

Finals are amongst me. I haven’t packed up a thing and I am set to leave in 48 hours. My laundry is exploding from my laundry bag (I guess I’ll just wait to do it at home…). Posters that had served as camouflage for our barren white walls are torn down, rolled up, retired. And then it hits me—college is almost over.

            No, I am not a senior. I will not be attending the infamous commencement of 2009. I’m not transferring, not dropping out. I am a freshman (well, until tomorrow at least), and I realize that this journey I had only just begun is already mounting its end.

            A year ago I hadn’t surpassed the bubble that is my hometown. I was sheltered within the confines of my Stepford-ish suburbia, a town of perfect facades and ideal images. Conflict? Chaos? Turmoil? Crises? Not where I come from. Galas. Polo Matches. Farmers’ markets. That’s more like it.

            Then August came and the bubble as I knew it popped. I left home to settle into a new one—my home under the dome. Little did I know what the move would have in store.

            Freshman year has been a year of firsts, a year of transition, a year of change. Who I was in August is only the foundation of who I am today—a more mature, confident, and balanced version of the naïve 18 year old who had no idea how much she’d grow and change. I’ve learned what “well-rounded” really means—not that your resume covers every possible facet of human experience, but rather that you identify your true passions and pursue them, while holding those values and relationships you care most about close to your heart. We cannot walk this road alone, for it is a lonely journey without special people to share it with.

            But now this year is about to end. We will finish our exams and return to the homes where we came from eight months ago. For me, this could not be more bittersweet, as I truly consider the world I’ve entered here at ND to be my second home. I will go back to my town with a new vision, a greater awareness of what’s out there—of what makes life meaningful. And then I’ll return as a sophomore, already accustomed to campus and its way of life. The year will undoubtedly fly as it comes time to declare a major and think harder about the future. Junior year will hopefully entail a semester abroad, making time on ND’s campus especially limited, condensed. And then senior year will arrive, a year of lasts, goodbyes. Future plans deal with graduate schools, jobs, new residences—a gateway into the real world.

            Yes, college is almost over. Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Katherine M. Lukas

Freshman, Lyons Hall