Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
yeah, right.
Does anyone actually sit down and read a newspaper in its entirety anymore? (Skimming doesn't count.) Let's be honest, sometimes the news is simply depressing. From failed 72 day-long marriages (irreconcilable differences, really Kim?) to the never-ending doom & gloom reports about our nation's shaky financial status, I'd understand why some might turn away from the news for the sake of preserving mental health. But honestly, even if the front page of the Wall Street Journal read "Fountain of Youth Discovered in South Dakota" or "Income No Longer Taxed in America" I have a feeling I know what you'd read: the headline. Okay, maybe you'd read the headline and the first and last sentence of the article. But that's it.
I admit that I'm guilty of being a headliner. That is, I read the headlines on USA Today's website, skim the front page and special Personal Journal section of the Wall Street Journal, and regularly browse AdWeek and PRWeek's top stories so I stay in-the-know about my employment-related industries. If something strikes me as especially interesting, I take the plunge and read on until I get the essential details. Yet more often than not, my interaction with the news goes something like this:
LINDSAY LOHAN CHECKS INTO AND OUT OF JAIL Surprise, surprise. It was all downhill for her after Mean Girls.
GREEK LEADERS MEET TO CHOOSE NEW PRIME MINISTER ...boring. Makes me want some Pita bread though. Lunch is in how many hours from now?
FEDERAL SHARE OF DEBT RISING What else is new?
LSU TOPS BCS RANKINGS LSU is not my alma matter, therefore this means nothing to me.
THOUSANDS PROTEST NEW OIL PIPELINE Weren't we supposed to run out of oil in 2008 or something? I know I started to read a book on it...
KNEE ARTHRITIS STRIKES AT A YOUNGER AGE Heck, I've had aches and pains since I was twelve. That's what Millennials get for trying to be Olympians from the time we started walking.
Other viable means of getting the news: virtual slideshows or "today's news in pictures" on news websites. Less admirable means: learning about top headlines through my friends' tweets--it happens more often than I'd like to admit...so Kim Kardashian is getting divorced, eh? Red cups back at Starbucks...totally knew that! *cough cough* And so it goes.
For those of you who stuck it out and read this post, thanks. Sometimes it's not so bad to read between the headlines.
